Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Police Blotter: Hinsdaleans Tricked into Public Drinking Arrests

Hinsdale (October 31): Dozens of arrests for public drinking were made in Hinsdale on Halloween night as the men in blue clamped down on all forms of social behavior not explicitly licensed for the gain of Village coffers. Of the twenty-eight residents arrested, three were in their thirties, twelve in their forties, eleven in their fifties, and two in their sixties. None were under age and no other charges were leveled at the taxpayers. Village officials said they were stunned to learn that so many of the dads standing at the curbside monitoring their little ones had been dragging along holiday five packs in their Radio Flyer wagons. It also turned out that a few of the moms had been sporting corinthian-leather-lined hip flasks. A spokesman said: "We hope that those arrested now understand that legal drinking on village streets is limited to Thursdays and the President's annual party."