Sunday, November 23, 2008

Man Found in Glencoe with Paddle and Amnesia

A man, approximately 6' in height and a svelte 215 lbs, was found in Glencoe on Saturday at one of the sites of the Illinois Intermediates tournament. He was suffering from dehydration and complete amnesia.

The poor chap was found wearing an obscenely bright orange knit hunting hat, a Hinsdale Baseball sweat shirt, and an expression described by witnesses as "peculiar" and "frightening".

No one on the scene was able to suggest how the disoriented fellow came upon the tournament or acquired a platform tennis racquet.

Tournament Director Bill O'Brien had fully accounted for every member of the tournament draw. O'Brien surmised that the man may have been a spectator, dropped off by a relative for safe keeping and inadvertently left behind in the hut with Crayolas and a coloring book.

If anyone can provide information about his identity, they are asked to contact the First Episode Psychosis Clinic of UIC at (312)355-5234.