New Year's Resolutions

1. Give that buddy who still hasn't bought a paddle pass the Village's form and tell him/her to stop freeloading. Everyone should have a pass who is playing. It's only $50 for a season for first-time passholders who live in Hinsdale.

2. Resist the temptation to be selfish and book back-to-back reservations. The limit is one 90-minute reservation per day even for bona fide paddle addicts. You can play as long as you'd like if there is an open court, but don't prevent others from getting their exercise by reserving extra court time.

3. Vote against Village Board members who pay more attention to four Burr Ridge residents than the 600+ Hinsdaleans enjoying paddle at KLM. And encourage 10 friends and neighbors to join you in voting against those aforementioned Village Trustees in April's elections.

Hinsdale Paddle Person of the Year for 2006

The Hinsdale Paddle "Person of the Year for 2006" is:

Newly Elected APTA Board Member
Tournament Director for the 2006 Nationals
Eponymous Host of the 2006 Red Zone Tourney
Coach responsible for growing to total of 15 league teams
President of the Hinsdale Platform Tennis Association


If anyone happens to locate the $1 million prize check, please forward it at your earliest convenience.

Hinsdale Icons Discover Winter Sports

Nothing quite so strange had happened at Police HQ since Mischief Night a few months back. One bizarre report arrived at 10:31 PM from Laurie Lane that paddlers were not only up one-minute late, but that they were leaping higher than ever to hit their overheads. Minutes later, another call from a silver-tongued octogenarian at KB asked whether this might be a rematch of a November 5 battle at Soldier Field that had disappointed so many locals.

Developer Proposes Multi-Use Structure for Downtown Hinsdale

A prominent developer is proposing that Hinsdale address its needs with one GINORMOUS project. The concept is to build a multi-use structure on the north side of the Burlington Northern tracks, between Lincoln and Madison Streets. The all-concrete building would feature a 12 story hotel/condo with 300 guest suites. Rather than aiming simply at attracting "empty nesters" looking to mitigate a rising property tax burden, the proposed 120 units of condominiums will serve piping-hot oatmeal every morning and thereby qualify for one of Hinsdale's latest definitions of "life-style housing".

The complex will be sized for parking of 325 cars, light trucks, and monster SUVs. The final kicker, in this well-positioned plan, is to place up to 8 lighted platform tennis courts on the rooftops. "Given the planned location of the courts, we haven't been able to fully incorporate Hinsdale's desire to use a berm to shield the court lights yet", said the developer.

"We believe that this one-size-fits-all solution is exactly what Hinsdale has been seeking," reported a village official, on the condition that he remain anonymous. He then added, "What's really great about this plan is that it can also support the combined storage needs of our annual leaf pick-up and the overhead transmission lines required when the Hinsdale Electrical Utility takes over management of the electrical grid from ComEd. It is going to be a beauty."

The lobby for the parking structure will provide space for Starbucks and a pharmacy.

Paddlist Fanatics Memorandum Lays Out a Call to Action

The recent arrests of two Western Springs couples at KLM have spurred the Village Administration into high gear. One couple, considered key among the rising wave of paddlist fanatics, are reported to have recruited neighbors to infiltrate Hinsdale’s platform tennis courts for a fun evening -- in blatant disregard of Village policy. The first-time paddlers were greeted by Village employees at the station house, according to the Saturday edition of The Suburban Life, and later released on bond.

Four partially-emptied, 12-ounce beer bottles were confiscated by undercover officers during their raid, but no other contraband was discovered. Police artists have worked with the FBI to sketch profiles of typical suburban residents who might be enticed to exercise in the park and ignore one or more of Hinsdale's policies. Take special notice of the shifty eyes in these profiles of "Biff Doe" and "Buffy Doe".

On Friday, an internal memo sent by Village Administrators was leaked to the Onion, America’s Finest News Source, and then shared with this blogger. The memorandum lays out a series of four principles about responding to the threat of paddlist fanatics from Western Springs and other nearby Hamlets:

1. Surveillance is a critical pillar of Hinsdale’s enforcement of rules about smoking outdoors and the consumption of Miller Genuine Draft, Miller Lite, and other evil beverages originating from the Empire of Wisconsin as well as the other 49 states. Continuing use of patrol vehicles and undercover detectives is planned. Newly-installed and remotely-operated cameras embedded in the new berm at KLM are expected to boost the responsiveness of the police to suspicious activity.

2. A public education campaign is being rolled out as a way to demonstrate to residents that bicycling, platform tennis, softball, and several other sports have been linked to injury, irresponsibility, and moreover lead to unusually bad breath.

3. Breaking away completely from the tradition of term limits for board members, the Village Caucus is considering lifetime appointments for the current Village Board. In these dangerous times, it is considered vital not to expose Hinsdale's leaders to the threat of being removed from their soon-to-be-even-more-plush board rooms.

4. Hinsdale will consider -- in yet another closed-door Board meeting -- the doctrine of preemptive action and how to reduce the opportunity of Western Springers to establish camaraderie in their own parks. The theory suggests that direct intervention on Western Springs soil can limit impact on healthy fun occurring in Hinsdale’s parks. Similar plans are being drawn up for Maryknoll Park in Glen Ellyn.

Check back for more coverage of this breaking story.

Glen Ellyn Opens Courts at Maryknoll Park

Illinois has its fourth public platform tennis facility in nearby Glen Ellyn. Two courts have been built in 25 acre Maryknoll Park, which is located at the corner of Route 53 and Pershing Avenue.

An HPD rising star whose dwelling is in Glen Ellyn was quoted in a Daily Herald article this week...

"Marty Engel of Glen Ellyn said he's thrilled about the new courts and spending more time with his family, since he no longer has to drive to Hinsdale to play. The 33-year-old especially enjoys the social aspect of the game, the fact that it's an outdoor sport during the cold, and, of course, the competition. "I'm really, really excited," he said. "I think it's a sport that a lot of people, once they get the opportunity to get out to play, will be bit by the bug as I was a few years back, and I really enjoy the sport." The district is offering free introductory play on the courts through Thursday. But memberships, which are $50 for an individual and $150 for a family of four, will be required for athletes from Friday through May 31. Adult leagues and lessons will be available for varying prices, and activities are open to nonresidents. If athletes don't have their own gear, they can purchase or rent equipment from Spring Avenue Recreation Center. A half-dozen nationally ranked professionals also are expected to give free lessons to the general public Dec. 26 through Jan. 7.

At half the price of Hinsdale's resident membership fees, residents of Glen Ellyn are getting an awesome deal on a great winter activity.

"Just the Facts, ma'am"

The Doings newspaper reports today that Hinsdale police investigators are so busy that they are taking their work home with them. Investigator Thomas Yehl said "There are just not enough hours in an eight-hour day to get everything done." Chief Bradley Bloom added "Things are getting busy here. I'm not exactly sure why."

Could all that extra work have anything to do with the paddle dragnet? One might wonder if three months of nightly visits to the KLM paddle facility might just be a wee bit of overkill. We might hope that the thieves that have rifled through 76 Hinsdale automobiles year-to-date would be more of a priority than watching a paddle match. But while smoking, lights out, and prohibition have been an overblown village priority, there has been a 375 percent increase in a real crime in our community. W W J F D? Maybe Joe would form a "solutions exploration group" to study strategic police priorities?

Breakin' Da Rules -- A Little Toast to the Series 11 Women

The marvelous series 11 women's team from Hinsdale has spent their first season together breakin' da rules. 9 and 0 so far and 93 points earned. Though not nearly as odd as Hinsdale men, the ladies reportedly do bring quite a sense of humor to the game. You can tell something about that even from a couple of snapshots. They may be, in fact, the first group to read the voluminous signage posted by the Village of Hinsdale this year at KLM.


By the way, darlings, you look mahvelous ...


(Photos courtesy of Michelle Geoga)

"It Doesn't Really Hurt" (Mike Cochrane)

One of our Academy instructors from 2004, Bob Considine, has posted a series of film clips about paddle on YouTube. To check them out, click the title.

Hinsdale Duo Takes Viking Juniors Tournament

Brothers Peter and Nathan Wiggin won three straight matches to take the championship in their draw at the Viking Juniors Tournament. Matches were played on a beautiful winter day on Saturday at the North Shore Country Club. You'd better watch out, Luke and Murphy Jensen, ...