Friday, January 19, 2007

Village of Hinsdale Police Investigate the Threat of Platform Tennis in Our Community

The demands on the fine men and women of the Hinsdale Police force continue to grow. As reported by The Doings late in 2006, members of Hinsdale's finest are now routinely working overtime and taking their paperwork home to complete in off hours. These mounting pressures on resources demand that our Village commit to "Its Way Forward (tm)" and solve the problem of platform tennis.

Last night, one of these fine and dedicated village employees devoted extra time to concerns about platform tennis. Two driveby visits were conducted at 7 PM and 8 PM. The officer observed nearly 30 men playing and several eating pepperoni pizza. The uniformed officer also visited the paddle hut on foot and provided a civics lesson to all present. (Note: Being on the court at the time, this blogger is unclear whether pizza samples were then taken back to the crime lab at Police HQ).

The uniformed officer cheerily explained that paddle players, including a dozen people present who just started this season, had brought this police pressure upon themselves. The facility is too close to residents and the elderly. The arrogance of building the courts in a public park has created a need for continuing attention by armed men.